This does not always mean they don’t want a relationship with you.It might just be a signal that you need to go slow, build trust and safety, and let him know you understand his desire for independence.Patience is often conveyed best through an attitude of respect for another’s opinions, thoughts and feelings.Sometimes simply asking him to expand on his thoughts or opinions and trying to understand his reasoning can help him feel respected.This may be so basic that it seems unnecessary to even say.I continue to marvel, though, at how many men tell me they think they don’t even have feelings.As noted above, these “thoughts” can give plenty of clues about what he feels.
It’s not that men don’t notice and feel the emotional distance between them and their partners, but it is comparatively rare that the man will raise this concern first.
There are many reasons for this, but for our purposes, it will help if you remember, we humans all have the same range of feelings.
We vary in amazing ways regarding how we experience, defend against and/or express feelings, but they are there.
With patience, encouragement and practice men can “translate” the physical sensations, e.g.
a “warm” feeling in the chest, “butterflies in the stomach,” or “boiling blood,” as emotions such as love, anxiety, or anger. Men want a strong, secure connection with their preferred partner and suffer (though often in silence) when that attachment and connection is threatened.