So does this mean the only hope for a happy, committed relationship is to move to another country? As mentioned above, the observations summarized above are not really about where one is born, but rather a mentality that is influenced by societal and cultural values.We must be aware of our own behavior in the dating game, because we are active participants in how we are treated.Now, when I discuss the differences between European and American, I’m referring to a mindset. American men on the other hand, tend to be goal oriented, with the aim of getting laid.You can very well be born in America but have a more “European” mindset and vice versa. Perhaps this ‘score mentality’ is for bragging rights, perhaps it’s for validation so they can feel wanted and desired, or perhaps it’s a pure ego play.In America, sexual education is not taught until one hits their teens, if they are taught at all. It’s no surprise that American men are left to their own devices, subconsciously learning about sex through porn and the media. The latest law passed in France where excessively skinny models need to prove their health is a testament to that.But when you’re surrounded by American media, filled with Barbie dolls, waif skinny models and Baywatch breasts, the idea of what ‘beauty’ is becomes skewed. European men have a quiet confidence, a demeanor that doesn’t need to scream out loud to prove themselves. The dating culture involves trying out many different options at the same time.
In case you haven’t read it in full, here’s the abbreviated version of my findings: Tinder is mindless, but fun.
I’m not to judge that one is better than the other, and mind you, my observations are based on my own experiences as well as a group of women I’ve interviewed in the last two years.
The below is a list of some of the themes and commonalities observed.
This breeds a generation of men who have habits of looking after their own needs versus the needs of the collective. Europeans don’t get their sexual education from porn. European men have a different perception of beauty.
For example, in the Netherlands, comprehensive sexuality education starts at age four. Instead of cruelly dismissing someone by disappearing, they communicate that they are not interested. As the media in Europe is a lot more heavily monitored, Europeans grow up surrounded by media and images of women who are curvy, comfortable in their own skin, and sensual (versus overly sexualized).