When my friend suggested a babysitter who was a male, I hesitated.
I finally called out of desperation, hoping he wasn’t hot. We danced around our mutual attraction for a few months, and eventually gave in. ” I started to realize how much of a recluse I’d become over the past couple years.
When you meet someone special, it’s only natural that you’ll want to bring that person into your world; namely, to introduce them to your kids.
Before you do so, though, it’s important that you take your time and make sure you’ve gauged a real and lasting commitment from them to you and your relationship.
At first it was confidence-boosting to see that there were a lot of men who wanted to get to know me. What it really came down to was me finding someone who could take on part of my responsibilities. Taking the time to get to know someone meant pulling from time I spent working or taking care of myself. “You can’t expect to either quit having sex or find a perfect match when you’re 40 years old and have kids,” a male friend said. I have two kids, an 8-year-old and the other just over a year.The youngest had been kicked out of two child-care centers on account of her screaming the entire time I was gone.Dating became a distraction from my daily life, an escape from my full plate of responsibilities. He didn’t have kids and didn’t understand the sinking devastation I felt. “It’s nice to have someone who will have sex with you and not be a jerk, yet not have any expectations or all the emotional stuff.” He had a point.Even with my friends’ willingness to help out with child care, every night out was a scramble to set up who could watch my kids and when I had to be home by their bedtime. My older daughter was away for a few days after Christmas, and he asked me to go out of town with him. I needed so desperately to get a break from my day-to-day life of working at home. “I gave him an out,” I said to my friend a couple of days later while wallowing through the sixth season of “Parenthood.” “Why did you give him an out? I wanted to escape for an hour or two in between some flirty distractions without worrying about whether he’ll be a supportive, healthy, future partner. I had two very real kids at home who came first, took up most of my time and energy, and I didn’t have much to give.