Why online dating does not work

Yes, you’ve got access to a portal that opens the door to thousands of options, but those options are surprisingly similar. They all “love what this city has to offer,” “enjoy being active,” and of course, without fail, they all “love to laugh.” Seriously, if you’re not a fan of laughing, then you’ve either had a horrific throat/face accident (sorry), or you’re an alien doing a poor impression of a human. You wouldn’t have stooped to this level if it were that easy. Views on reality television and pop music are potentially fun debates to have, but instead people tend to gravitate towards people with whom they match with perfectly. I know I’ve eliminated people because they’re super into God, but who knows — that could be a mistake.· Here’s the fundamental problem of online dating: while it makes perfect sense on paper, in practice, it’s so forced and awkward that it’s doomed from the start. Your online exchanges were so funny and had such a nice flow to them.The amount of women that put up that phrase — seemingly as a way to differentiate themselves — is mind-boggling.· But who wouldn’t want to date someone who loves his/her city, has an active lifestyle, and who loves to laugh? Because here’s what you’re agreeing to: “We are going to meet at such-and-such place. About that:· It’s much easier to be witty when writing a message, because you’ve got all the time in the world to respond.I suppose it makes sense when you look at what direction our society has been moving in.The number of women in the work force continues to rise. People are staying single longer, but there’s still that hint of anxiety because they haven’t settled down yet—Better hurry, or all the good ones will be taken!To solve such a mystery, I decided to dive into the belly of the beast, and set up a profile.(What actually happened is that I had my heart broken, and decided to open up all avenues to fill the fresh, gaping hole in my emotional core).Moreover, for people looking to find a soul mate, time is working against them on three different fronts: 1) As we get older, our vision of an ideal mate gets more narrowly defined; 2) As people continue to pair off, the field of eligibles dwindles; and 3) Every day you are fatter, uglier, and balder. Dating sites act as a filter to weed out the unwanted guys/gals, and for this reason, online dating has become too convenient to ignore. Because out at a bar, you might see 50 people of of the gender you’re into.Half of those will be taken, half of the remaining will be fugly, and half of the remaining probably just won’t be very cool.

Part of the blame has to go to me, and part of the blame has to go to my dates.

There was a time—not long ago—when I would say to people “if I’m ever on one of those dating websites, that’s when I’ll know I need to reevaluate the choices I’ve made in life.” Well apparently those choices haven’t been great, because here I am, with my very own OKCupid profile.

I chose OKCupid because I heard that’s the young/hip/casual one.

And if you do, you’ll set the date up on the early side, leaving both parties the option of calling an audible midway through to go do something else. So you can “only have one or two drinks.” But extended flirtatious conversation usually requires a blood-alcohol level over the legal limit.

Because by 9 PM you’ll be wondering what fun activity you’re missing out on.· Okay, so just set up the date for a school night. So when that ideal conversation fails to materialize, that bag of weed and the Game of Thrones episode on your DVR start to sound pretty amazing.· Finally, in an example of irony that even Alannis Morissette would be impressed with, online dating doesn’t work because online dating exists.

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